Tag Archives: single missionary

The Tinder Blog part 2

Prerequisite reading for this blog is this blog.

It’s been so long. How long…? God, I don’t even remember. Come on, when was my last date? I mean real date. Where we were both equally aware that it was a date. No ambiguity. Can I seriously not remember? This is pathetic. Come on, think. Two…three years ago? Goodness, that is pitiful. Let’s not say that aloud. Ever. Ok, how do I even do this? One step at a time, I guess. Just be myself. All the clichés Ok, I can do this. Step one: get dressed.

Check. Ok. Done. Adequate. See? I can do this. Make-up…hair…done. 

Step two: figure out where the hell this place is. How is it possible that some ‘newly arrived passer-by’ knows more about the local hot spots than I do? That probably has something to do with the no dates for the past three years. Moving on. 

Ok. Dropped a pin. I can do this. Breathe in. Breathe out.

You are pretty. You are smart. You are a cool girl. 

Oh god. Shut up. 

Of course I’m here 20 minutes early. That doesn’t seem eager at all. How did that even happen? How is it that I am consistently late to everything and yet manage to make it here 20 minutes early? This is exactly the kind of scenario where my notorious tardiness actually works. Is actually desirable. Naturally, I am early. Oh well. Thank God I have a book. Being early and reading makes me seem cultured, unaffected. Date? What date? Who knows anything about a date? I just came here to read. Well, I should check my phone first, then I will read.  Perfect. He’s running late. This is off to a great start. 

No worries. Play it cool. You are a cool girl. Read your book. 

That’s him. Not the same as his picture… but maybe for the better? Ok, here we go. Stand up. Game on. 

Oh… we greet strangers by hugging in 2017. That’s new. 

You handled that adequately. 

Breathe in. Breathe out. Smile. 

This isn’t so bad. Just conversation. You know how to have a conversation. He’s actually pretty cool you know… an artist?! Who would have thought? And he lives in San Francisco…  Peace Corp too? A teacher…? This is exciting. We have a lot we can talk about. Easy. 

Breathe in. Breathe out. Smile. 

I wonder when I will have to actually say something about myself? I mean, this is pretty low pressure, just listening, smiling, nodding. Agreeing.  And I’m not even faking my agreements or smiles, I mean… we are actually exceedingly compatible. But does he know that yet? 

Hi man! I’m cool too! I have interesting stories to add to this conversation! Oh well. Getting to know him… getting to know all about him…

Oh, ok. We are changing our seats. Alright. Sure. Why not sit on the same side of the booth? This makes perfect sense. And now I will delicately shimmy myself over closer to that wall. Smiling, smiling. Not awkward at all. 

Oh yea! You lived there for two years…? Great..! 

Oh yea! That’s what you think about Trump…? Ok! 

Oh yea! That’s an interesting art technique…! Sure is! 

Yes, you are an interesting man. 

Yes, you are. 


Don’t visibly roll your eyes. Smile. Smile. 

Oh. Hand holding. Well that is interesting. Interesting how he has just taken hold of my hand. He just took it. I wonder if he remembers my name! Haha! He hasn’t asked me a single question about myself, but he is holding my hand. He doesn’t know that I have an art studio, but he knows I can paint my fingernails. I actually kind of wish my hands were clammy right now. When does one ever wish for clammy hands? But that would be a good punishment for his just taking hold of my hand. This is hilarious. I will take my hand back now sir, thank you very much. 

Ok, getting the bill. This hasn’t been that bad. I mean, I could have contributed more to the conversation, but not contributing was much easier. Just sit, smile and look pretty. Pretty low pressure. Oh god, how non-feminist was that last thought?” Shoot. Erase that. Oh well, at least he was interesting. I mean, he was a cool guy. This was a good ‘first step’ into the whole dating world. Innocent enough. 

Oh wait. What’s happening? No. He couldn’t possibly… Oh. Yes. He could.  Well, ok. At least now I get to use my voice. Will these be the first words I say to him? Oh come on, you’re being dramatic. You said words… 

Well, fortunately I have no issue deflecting kisses. I am well versed in turning kisses down. What does this say about me? How many kisses have I turned down in my life? Four, five… six… Hey! No time to think about that. It’s deflecting time. Ready-set-deflect!

He took that well. Looks like he’s still in recovery, but that wasn’t too bad. Mr. Cool Guy probably isn’t too used to being shot down. Especially from such docile, agreeable girls. Haha! I am happy to be your first, kind sir. It’s an honor. 

To the motorbike! Over. Finished. I can officially say I have gone on a Tinder date and it wasn’t so bad. I didn’t—wait. What? What is he doing? Again, really? Ok, no problem… one, two… sorry man. 

Oh, don’t look so surprised. Did you think I would change my mind during our two minute walk? Apparently you did. 




Third times not the charm, man!

Not tonight, not with this girl. You probably would have realized that I’m not so easy if you would have let me talk.  Now I’m getting annoyed. I’m a pretty stubborn woman. The more you try, the more stubborn I am going to get. 

“Ok, seriously. This is not going to happen. I literally just met you.”

“Yes, but we met on Tinder.”


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27 and Single

I’ve been wanting to write a blog on singleness for a long time, but was having a hard time articulating my thoughts. Fortunately, God knows how much I like telling stories, so I was recently part of a very ‘interesting’ situation that has allowed me to create this blog.

Screenshot 2014-07-21 13.15.51

I’m an almost 28 year old female which therefore results in my singleness being a regular topic of discussion.  My reaction to people’s comments and questions vary greatly depending on the person making the comments and my current level of annoyance.

I am typically able to get over my annoyances after a brief rant with my roommate, but after this recent experience, I decided it’s time to put my words out there.


The School of Promise recently hosted a male substitute teacher for two weeks, while one of our teachers was in America.  He was a man, my age, very handsome, well dressed, well off and… believe it or not, single.  He came to Thailand solely to help us out for the two weeks and therefore had no other responsibilities–no team, no where else to be.  Saying this dude was ‘available’ was an understatement.

The matchmaking attempts began immediately–and being honest, I was fine with that.  This situation (a single male coming to volunteer at the school,) is such a rare occurrence that I wanted to take advantage of it and get to know him.

I quickly (after our first one-on-one hangout) realized I wasn’t interested in this person.  While he was handsome, yes, and easy to talk with, we had extreme differences of opinions and world views.  Our convictions on how to live our lives did not match up at all.

I was not interested.

But, wasn’t opposed to hanging out with him on a friendly level while he was here.

It’s at this point that things started getting annoying.  The staff at the school could perceive his apparent interest in me–he was very intentional and sought out time with me as much as possible–so their chatter, gossip and speculations were swirling around the school.

I had been married off.  One person was even kept up at night because she was having ‘anxious dreams’ about me leaving the school and moving to this fellow’s country.

I didn’t really want to talk about him while he was still working at the school, so I let the comments slide for a couple days, but also tried to let the teachers know that I was not interested in him and that we were just friends.

And here’s the kicker… no one could understand why I wasn’t interested.  I tried hard to not slander him while he was here, and so my words of ‘we’re just friends,’ or ‘I’m not interested in him,’ or ‘we’re just very different,’ were rebutted with things like:  ‘But, he’s so handsome,’  ‘He’s a Christian,’ or my personal favorite, ‘But like likes you so much…’

One teacher went as far as to say, ‘If you turn him down, this will be your last chance, you’re getting old and there won’t be anyone else.’


(I like to think she was joking… but you never can tell.)

The story ends with me having to be incredibly firm in my ‘dis-interest’ in this man and while he was willing to marry me and take me away from Thailand… I let the marriage train pass me by.


But, In all seriousness–I don’t understand.

I don’t understand why marrying someone who is completely incompatible with you is more desirable than living the single life.

I see and understand the draw of marriage–it is a good and beautiful thing, finding someone to walk as partners in life with—but, I also don’t see marriage as the end all of life.  I don’t see marriage as a goal to work towards (winks to my team leaders…) and I don’t see singleness as a stamp of living an unfulfilled life.

Singleness is not a synonym for loneliness.

Singleness does not mean that I am not mature enough to be in an intimate, committed relationship. [I could go on soooo many tangents here…]

Nor is my being single a punishment from the Lord for my not being ________ enough.

My being single just means that I’m single.


Honestly, I (maybe controversially) don’t believe that marriage is a promise from God.  It is probably one of my biggest pet peeves in life when people quote Psalm 37:4 to me as a ‘cure’ for my singleness.

In case you don’t know:

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

You know what, the deepest desire of my heart is not marriage.  The deepest desire of my heart is to look more and more like Jesus.  And I do believe that He will fulfill that desire…though I’m very far from having arrived.


I am single.  I am 27, and I’m okay.  I’m more than okay, I’m happy.

I’m living my life fully, I’m saying ‘yes’ to the opportunities in front of me and I’m trying to follow Jesus’ leading in my life.

And I am definitely not someone you should pity.


All this to say, I am not anti-marriage, nor am I going out of my way to stay single, however, if I never put on that white dress and walk down that coveted aisle, I will be just fine.  I will continue living my life confidently and securely as a powerful woman of God.

The end.


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