Cow Tipping: It’s Not a Victimless Crime

***Warning:  This post has nothing to do with my life in Thailand, but I realized I hadn’t written in awhile and felt like telling a based on real life story***

The following story is based on real events.

One upon a time I spent a summer working at Maggie Moo’s Ice Cream and Treatery.

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 Still to this day, I do not believe there is a better job for a 16 year old girl.  Little to no job responsibility, your friends want to come visit you and spend hours at your place of employment and if you mess up someone’s ice cream order–you can eat the mistake!

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this is where the magic happened!

About ten years later I still have fond memories of this place and all the shenanigans my co-workers and I participated in.

This story is a particular favorite of mine:

One of the unique perks of working for this company is that they have a mascot, her name is Maggie and if you’re lucky enough you might be given the opportunity to spend your entire four hour shift pretending to be this magical creature.

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When I was first approached by my manager about putting on this glorious outfit and standing outside on the street corner waving at cars and dancing by myself, I didn’t think twice.  One would perhaps say… dream come true.

I would be Maggie.

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I ever so eagerly put on Maggie’s pink cow dress, slipped on Maggie’s giant cow feet and topped it off with her two foot long neck and head on my shoulders.  I was transformed.

My manager walked me to the street corner (it’s not so easy walking around in Maggie’s shoes,) and explained to me that Maggie is a cow that doesn’t talk but, she loves to dance and wave at the cars driving by and that whenever I’m feeling too hot that I can come back and work in the shop.

Deal.

I am getting paid to wear a costume and dance on the street.

Dream. Come. True.

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And things were going swimmingly.  I mean who doesn’t love Maggie Moo.

I was out there doing my thang for about an hour when I spotted them…

Two kids on their bikes.  I didn’t think anything of it at first.  Nope.  They looked about my brother’s age–around 11 or 12 years old, nothing out of the ordinary.

I just kept on waving and dancing and dancing and waving.  I was  smiling so big that I was certain people could see my joy through the peep hole in Maggie’s giant neck.

That is, until I heard those dreaded words…

COW TIPPING!!!!

What?

No way!?

You’ve got to be kidding me right?  Right?

Wrong!

Those punk kids on their punk bikes rode past me and PUSHED MAGGIE OVER!

They pushed Maggie over and then continued peddling on their way.

I was in shock.

I wasn’t hurt or anything.  But, I just sat there in complete and utter shock.

I was just cow-tipped.  

I, was just cow-tipped.

And now, I have to figure how to gracefully stand back up with these giant feet and two foot long neck.

How does this even happen?

How is this real life?

Oddly, I wasn’t too emotionally damaged by this experience.

It only took me about a half an hour to decide to stand up and go inside–which, of course means, that Maggie was sitting the sidewalk, looking very silly, for about a half an hour–but, stand up I did and I continued to volunteer to put on that costume all summer long.

The end…

…but if you punk kids with your punk bikes are reading this–I want you to know:

Cow tipping is not a victimless crime.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Cow Tipping: It’s Not a Victimless Crime

  1. Jomomma

    I personally know some cows who were also tipped at some point in their lives and were severely traumatized. Therapy was even necessary in a few cases. SO sorry this also happened to you. 🙂

  2. gramma Sharon

    not the kind of tipping u hope for when involved in the service industry … u would hope for the guy who gave $5,000.00 to come by and tip u …. bad cow tipsters!

  3. this is hilarious
    i can’t believe this happened to you
    but, I’m glad you decided to share this:)

  4. Lovely Rita

    My cousin got knocked over in a squirrel mascot costume by some kids. She was rolling in the grass, back and forth, trying to find her feet it the giant paws. I was laughing so hard, I was totally useless. Couldn’t even stand up myself, I was laughing so hard. A family dressed as the Disney Incredibles (true story) had to help her up because I was gasping for air at that point and couldn’t do anything. Then there was irony of REAL(ish) super heroes having to help her up. I thought I was going to hyperventilate!

    So the whole time I was reading this, I was thinking of that day. And you. Dressed as the sweetest Maggie ever. Even when you were down, you were up!

    • samara marie

      So funny! Why was she dressed up as a squirrel? And why–oh why–do people feel like knocking us over????

  5. OneProudMomma

    so so funny!
    I could see you smiling through your cow mask
    (the first time I heard this and as you retold this story)
    You are a Amazing Story teller….
    Plus you are 100% RIGHT who Who WHO wouldn’t want to wear a crazy costume around all day and get paid for it.

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