Yesterday I went to the hospital to take x-rays and determine how well my toes are (or are not) healing.
I was very much looking forward to this appointment for a couple of reasons.
- Dim, my Thai ‘grandma’ was taking me. She has yet to encounter Jesus, though she has been asking a lot of questions. I thought that this would be the PERFECT time for a healing miracle. We’d get the x-rays, the fracture would be supernaturally healed in a week and I would get to share the goodness of Jesus!
- As a result of the fracture (and perhaps the heat) my body –the entire thing– has been swollen. constantly. like every minute of life. and so I wanted to ask some questions about that….
- When I’m at the hospital I get the pleasure of being pushed around in a wheel chair by strapping, young Thai men.
After all was said and done the hospital visit was much different than my imagination had played it out…
My time with the Doctor was very short. He showed me the three x-rays and told me that he couldn’t see the fracture due to how swollen my foot was. He told me that that my body is soooo swollen because the medicine he gave me last week was high in sodium, so I was retaining a lot of water. He also told me that there was nothing that he could do for me and I just need to take care of myself and probably STOP using my crutches as regularly (?). He then made me an appointment for a month later and sent me on my way.
At first, I was pretty discouraged.
What? No CRAZY change in the x-ray that led to revival in the hospital? No HUGE change in my situation… Whhhaaaaat?
and I may have had a bit of an attitude for a couple of hours. (not going to lie, this stupid situation has been very trying on me and has forced me to exercise James 1:2-4*, even when I really, really don’t want to.)
But then I started thinking differently.
After praying for new eyes…situations started to take on a new light…
- the Doctor couldn’t see a fracture on my x-ray and my foot was no more swollen than it was when I first came in.
- as I have stopped taking the medicine he gave me last week, the swelling has almost 100% subsided.
- since my doctor encouraged me to not use my crutches as regularly, I have been walking (though very hobbly) much more often with very little pain.
- today, for the first time since the injury, I did a ‘chair workout’ which involved a lot of picking up of my legs and finished it still not swollen. granted, it wasn’t the type of workouts I was doing before the injury, but I was able to exercise one week post breaking my toes!
- if everything would have happened as according to my imagination–I wouldn’t have had as much time being pushed around in the wheel chair.
Pretty sure God healed my fracture…
There may be a couple days of relearning how to properly use my foot, and it may take some time for the bruising to go down and there may be a few more days of resting and elevating and icing ahead of me, but my foot is healed.
While I was still working through attitude issues and bouts of depression on my ride home from the hospital I was able to talk to Dim about Jesus. Dim was worried that due to my foot injury I wouldn’t be able to go to the States at the end of May [shout out to Julie!]; I explained that God is healing me and that I will be perfectly fine. Dim did not understand how I have money to pay for the hospital bills because the School of Promise isn’t paying me a salary; I was able to explain that I chose to move to Thailand to tell people about God and my friends and family back home believe in this mission and therefore help me live here by sending me money [shout out to my supporters!!]. Dim doesn’t understand why the Lorensen’s and I choose to take care of Mark and Mai, I got to explain that God loves all of His children and has given us the opportunity to take care of them and that it’s our pleasure.
Upon reflection, I was sharing the Gospel with Dim all day…even though there wasn’t the CRAZY MIRACLE I was hoping for. I was sharing the Gospel through explaining day-to-day things in my life like prayer, missions and loving the least of these.
Perhaps this silly situation with my foot has really been a blessing. It’s been a lesson in contentment, in joy, in having Kingdom eyes, in facing fears (I am no longer afraid of the motorbike, as I have been successfully driving it to school with my crutches and broken toes…) and in sharing the Gospel.
Perhaps God is working miracles everyday, all around us and as we get over our bouts of self-pity and judgement our vision is made clearer and we are able to see glimpses of what He’s doing.
All that said–Thank You Jesus for your kindness, your patience and your faithfulness to us who though we’re clumsy in our relationship with You, You break through, into our world, as soon as we tilt our focus back to You! Thank You for being faithful and trustworthy and so ready to heal!
**Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4